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Your Questions About Studio Apt For Rent
need some advice/help dealing with sick mum?
hey so back history
hubby/i were living in PA (wonderful house renting for 700/mo life was great) mum was diagnosed w. stage 3 breast/lymphoma and it was looking quite grim w. other health factors .. so we picked up and moved to ct (back home..changed jobs schools everything) .. NOW we cant even rent a studio apt for 700/mo! so we moved into parents house (in basement =P) ..also it helps b.c mum needs someone there 24/7 so im a ‘live in nurse’ type of thing .. i also have a sister who is 17 (causes a lot of issues w. attitude and doesn’t help around the house at all!)
now mum is stubborn and doesn’t stop … when cleaning the house i said mum let me do that i can do that .. she responds no you dont know how to do it the way i want and im not going to take the time to explain .. or when i do clean something up she will come and redo it … so should i just say hey ok you do it then? but shes sick and shouldn’t ..yet its not good enough when i do it?? ..and really i dont want to get her upset and start a fight b.c its quite stupid i think
.. and i DO know how to ‘keep house’ .. granted her and i have very different cleaning styles .. i do a ‘quick clean’ in the bathroom every night toilet bowl sink mirror/window/all faucets etc .. just a quick 1-2-3 to help keep a ‘dirty’ room a bit cleaner .. now i dont do that here b.c i know she donst like that and thinks its a “waste” so it gets cleaned maybe once a month =P .. her theory on fridge/cabinet space is throw it where ever it fits .. i believe things should have places and it should be neat . lately ppl have been bringing lots of food over so the fridge is over flowing (mum doesn’t believe in throwing anything out until it is WAY past old) .. so i organized the fridge so we could see a bit better what we have and such yes that lasted a whole day .. ive done it a few times now ..now Just gave up and however it is is how it is
.. its frustrating that she wont let me help w. these things yet she complains when we dont help…what should i do? and now its getting to be a bit difficult to maintain patience when she keeps complaining about everything yet when i try to fix it that’s bad to and now im feeling guilty for feeling at end w. her when she herself is so sick …
My wonderful Mum passed away in January 2007 and I went through the same thing with her and the tears I shed could have filled the ocean!
I came home from work the day she was diagnosed with Cancer and found her standing at the Ironing Board Ironing my Brothers shirts, needless to say I wasn’t happy and we had cross words and she told me that she might be sick but she can still do the bl@@dy Ironing!
The same with housework, she wanted to do it but was way to weak and my way was always wrong
I think it was her way of trying to protect me and try to carry on as normal and I guess in my own way I was wanting to protect her because I was so scared for her and for me.
In the end I let her do exactly what she wanted while she was still able to and we really grew closer, it was like me and her against the world and yes she was very Ill but we were going to have some good times and laughter along the way!
I know it’s hard for me to tell you what to do, but don’t deny your Mum anything, she knows she’s ill and she just wants to do what she can while she can.
If my mum said she wanted to run through the streets naked I’d have let her, she wanted to see the rain one evening so I wrapped her up sat her on a chair and opened the front door and sat on the front step and we sat watching the rain falling, all this because she hadn’t been out of the house for weeks and it broke me heart because she never ever saw the rain falling again!
Let your mum do whatever she wants and just be there for her when ever she needs you! Xx
Girls…What would you do if you were in a loveless marriage?
Married 10yrs ago for 2 yrs, separated for 6, and back together now for 2. Sex is only FOR him. I just don’t “feel” it for him. I would rather “do” myself when he isn’t around. But I long for the tenderness, and those feelings you get when you are just being held. I miss the hugs and kissing. It is pretty convenient here because he is a father to MY young child that isn’t his, and he pays most of the bills. By staying here, I feel selfish and guilty because I am keeping him (and me) from finding someone else that can provide what we as people so desperately need and want. I have an almost full-time job (37hrs pr/wk) that only pays $10.00pr/hr. I have done the math….my daughter and I could make it on our own by “scraping ” by, if I rent a studio apt. What would you do?
Serious replies only, please. I am in a real dilemma here and need advice.
I do feel you should move on and find happiness we only have one life to live and why waste it being unhappy with someone .Go for it girl don’t stop until you are really happy even if that is being alone without a hubby .I wish you the very best of luck .
If a spouse dies,and leaves the house to the surviving spouse,can the bank refuse to ‘carry’ the mortgage?
The mortgage was in the deceased name, but we were married. Can the bank say that I don’t ‘qualify’ for assumption of the mortgage,and force a sale of the house? The ‘will’ states that I am to remain in the house, and continue to make payments. I don’t want to end up homeless! The total monthly house payments are only about $950.00. I wouldn’t have much trouble coming up with that. I can’t rent a studio apt. for that ! What’s gonna happen?
would this be referred to as a “life estate”?
so would a “stay at home” mom be thrown out of the home because she has little credit history?
Your spouse doesn’t have to leave a will for you to become the sole owner of your home. As long as you live in a “community property” State – its a slam dunk. The Bank wants the loan in your name, so they can screw with you. They can’t file NOD (notice of default) on a dead person.
P.S. You should get some legal help – legal aid- if you can’t afford regular attorneys.
P.P.S. A life estate is a situation where you are allowed to live in a Paid For property till you die, and then it transfers to living heirs or a charity, named by the original owner. If you ever have a Life Estate, you may not encumber the property by borrowing money or renting it out.
Moving to north OF London, please be kind to help.?
I got a decent job in North of London (Luton), but I don’t want live there since I heard many bad things about it.
Can you please help and give me advices where I should go look for a safe and nice place to rent a studio/1bed apt. for around 700 pounds/month?
Thank you very much for all you help!!!
Luton doesn’t have the best reputation, although it must have some good parts.
London is expensive – why not try places in Hertfordshire – between London and Luton.
-Closer to Luton and still near London
-May be cheaper
- can live in town but still be very close to countryside.
- likely to be safer than North London
Sorry this isn’t too specific – i don’t really know too much about what the prices would be like – it’s worth looking into places outside london though!
Can you recommend some safe/safer neighborhoods in the Bronx?
I would like to rent a studio or one bed room apt and want a fairly convenient commute to Bronx-Lebanon Hospital at 1650 Grand Concourse. I have a car but also am willing to use a bus or subway. Safety is important so low or lower crime areas would be preferred. Thanks for your suggestions.
Riverdale is the safest community in the Bronx (because of its upper/high class surroundings, people in The Bronx don’t consider it as “The Bronx”…they just think of it as Riverdale.). There is very little crime there (the worst of it being auto thefts and if your car is not a high end vehicle, then you’re okay) Because of that, it’s also very expensive to live there. Most buildings there are condos and co-ops and have few rentals, though rentals CAN be found.
It may take a bit, but depending on where you would live, the Bx7, Bx10 or Bx20 bus goes by W.231st Street, where you can transfer for the Bx1 that would take you down Grand Concourse.
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